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All You Need Is Love

by Charly Mann

I came of age in a generation whose theme song was The Beatles "All You Need is Love".  However I do not think many of my generation, including myself, really practiced what we preached. While everyone wants to be loved almost everyone I see on social media, the news, and in everyday conversation is pointing out the negative characteristics and mistakes they find in others. I think a major component of love is being respectful and tolerant of others.

Why are most of us so habitually focused on highlighting what we think are other people's faults instead of looking for what are endearing and positive about them? Can you imagine a world in which the hosts of MSNBC and FOX News spent most of their time talking about the admirable traits of people they had differences with?  I actually think if we all did this we could more easily find common ground and work out our differences. Just think about this: everyone wants to be liked and respected, and nobody wants to be criticized or rejected. If we really cultivated the habit of extending love by seeing the best in others we would be far more likely to work out or better tolerate our differences.

Buddhists believe that one should always strive to speak in a manner that avoids disharmony. One of their bodhisattva vows is: "I vow not to talk about the faults of others." I have recently been focused on not judging other people, even to the point of not expressing a condescending look, or rolling my eyes, when I hear something that I might perceive as a fault or misdeed. Instead I am training my mind to look for the good qualities of people who do or believe something that I may find fault with. This change is making me more loving, open, and happier than I have ever been in my life, but I still have a long way to go to totally change my mindset.  


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Comments:

Vila jones      7:03 PM Sat 4/22/2017

We saw a painted bunny on our suit block we live in pocola OK 4/22/17
 

wmarkhay      6:47 AM Sun 2/19/2017

Great insight in Michelle's 2nd paragraph amplification to Charly's positivity "promotion." One of the best cures for the virus, or maybe the best boost to the immune system for it, is self assurance. To the extent one is at peace with oneself, one can better let negativity from outside roll off like drops of water. Lacking that makes one prone to the make-others-feel-bad-so-I-feel-better syndrome.

And one more little positivity anecdote. I'm a decent tennis player, not great, but did coach our high school boys team for a while, and my daughters went to state for tennis every year they were in high school, the older one at singles and the younger doubles. The younger's doubles partner's dad was a much better player than me, goes to USTA nationals most years, and coached our HS boys more years than I did. But it was very difficult to watch our daughters play when he was next to me, his coaching style SO negative: "don't do this, don't do that." One day our girls were struggling against a very good pair, especially hitting to the other team's net player who'd put it away. Steve, my kid's partner's dad, kept yelling, "Don't hit it to the net player," but our girls kept doing it. As soon as I re-phrased it to "Hit it to the open area," problem solved! Same idea, expressed positively instead of negatively, MUCH better result.
. Basically just an offshoot of the impossible directive, "Don't think about a pink elephant."
 

penn      9:34 AM Wed 1/4/2017

My apologies for the multiple msgs. Still learning how to navigate my phone. LOL!
 

penn      9:32 AM Wed 1/4/2017

What a lovely discovery - your site. I went looking for birds and found an amazing person!
 

penn      9:32 AM Wed 1/4/2017

What a lovely discovery - your site. I went looking for birds and found an amazing person!
 

penn      9:32 AM Wed 1/4/2017

What a lovely discovery - your site. I went looking for birds and found an amazing person!
 

penn      9:32 AM Wed 1/4/2017

What a lovely discovery - your site. I went looking for birds and found an amazing person!
 

Michelle      3:09 AM Sat 6/27/2015

WOW! I completely agree with you! I've always thought heaven on earth could happen in the blink of an eye, as quickly as that.... if only every human would just look at the goodness within everything, instead of looking for and focusing on anything negative they find. It is so easy to see goodness, it is so easy to encourage instead of discourage. Kindness and compassion, love for humanity is truly beautiful.

Unfortunately, I've noticed that there seems to be a negative virus or something. People so often make the mistake of hurting others in order to make themselves feel better. Then the person they hurt goes forth to hurt another to make themselves feel better. Yep, it's like a virus, a sickness. Why, Oh Why, doesn't kindness work this same way to stop that hurting others virus? Then we have those who secretly manipulate people to get the things they want. I've always wondered why they don't just ask! I do wish humanity, all common folk, all those in charge of our care in Government, all National leaders...everyone, would do the kind, loving thing for all humanity, all people everywhere, all individuals. May it be so, is my constant hope.


 

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Charly Mann in a Hawaiian shirt
Charly Mann

About Me

Ever since I was very young I have been intrigued with how one could live happily ever after like the characters I read about in fairy tales. As a child I noticed most of the adults I was exposed to were often anxious and angry, and only a very few seemed to be calm and happy. By the time I was a teenager I was scouring philosophy and psychology books looking for instructions on how to have a marvelous life. I also began questioning scores of adults I would encounter about their philosophy on life and what they thought one needed to do to be perfectly contented. In 1967, at the age of 17, I started a daily journal that compiled all the information I acquired that day on the subject. Today that journal includes three dozen large notebooks and more than 3,400 pages on my hard drive.

I have had a marvelous life thus far - most of it incredibly happy, healthy, and successful. Since 1968 I have also tracked how happy and successful I was in the previous year. Through the end of 2013, each year has been significantly better than the year before. I believe much of this can be attributed on what I learned and implemented in my own life about achieving good health, success, and happiness. As I mature and learn more my methodology for making my life great has changed a lot. I achieved enormous financial success before I was 25, which contributed greatly to my enjoyment of life for almost a decade, but even before I was 30 I found that there were things far more important than wealth that made my life great and I keep discovering more. I have had financial independence since I was very young, but almost all the joys and pleasure I now derive from life are free or cost very little.

On Uplifting Visions I share insights that I have gained from my own experience, observation, and a life of research on attaining happiness, health, and success.

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